As a holistic psychologist deeply committed to the healing journey, I have found that our understanding of trauma is both a challenge and an invitation-to see not only the pain, but also the profound wisdom that trauma can carry. Having completed Dr. Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry course, I have witnessed how trauma, when approached with curiosity and compassion, becomes a portal to self-understanding, growth, and authentic living. In this article, I will share what trauma truly is, how it manifests, the path to healing, and why embracing its wisdom is essential for holistic well-being.
What Is Trauma? Beyond the Event
Trauma is often misunderstood as the event itself-an accident, a loss, an act of violence. But in holistic psychology and through the lens of Compassionate Inquiry, trauma is not what happens to us, but what happens inside us as a result of what happened. It is the disconnection from our true selves, the constriction of our authentic expression, and the formation of protective adaptations that once served us but now hold us back.
“The primary suffering is disconnection. When people come to us for help, our job is not simply to help them with coping strategies… The real goal, I believe, is to help people connect to the truth of themselves.”
Dr. Gabor Maté, Compassionate Inquiry Workshop
Trauma is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw. It is a natural human response to overwhelming stress, especially when experienced in childhood or in the absence of supportive, attuned relationships. It is the body and mind’s way of protecting us when our vulnerability is not met with safety.
How Trauma Shows Up: The Many Faces of Disconnection
Trauma is not always obvious. It can be loud-manifesting as anxiety, depression, addiction, or chronic illness. But more often, it is subtle, woven into the fabric of our beliefs, behaviors, and relationships.
Common manifestations of trauma include:
- Emotional numbness or difficulty feeling
- Chronic self-criticism or shame
- Addictive behaviors or compulsions
- Difficulty trusting others or forming close relationships
- Persistent feelings of emptiness or meaninglessness
- Physical symptoms such as fatigue, pain, or autoimmune issues
- Hypervigilance, anxiety, or sudden mood shifts
These are not random problems, but adaptations-creative, intelligent responses to environments where our needs for safety, connection, and authenticity were not fully met.
“We suppress authenticity to avoid the pain of not being loved. Relationships lose authenticity, for the sake of attachment. When we move towards authenticity, we re-create the pain of losing or threatening an attachment.”
Compassionate Inquiry Course
The Wisdom of Trauma: What Pain Is Trying to Teach Us
One of the most transformative insights from Compassionate Inquiry is that trauma, while a source of suffering, is also a source of wisdom. Our pain, triggers, and symptoms are not enemies to be vanquished, but messengers-carrying information about our unmet needs, suppressed emotions, and forgotten truths.
“Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life… are specifically yours, designed specifically for you, by the part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself.”
A.H. Almaas, quoted in Compassionate Inquiry Workshop
When we approach our suffering with curiosity and compassion, we discover that beneath every defense is a longing for connection, and behind every adaptation is a story of survival. Trauma teaches us about our boundaries, our needs, and our innate drive for wholeness.
The Roots of Trauma: Childhood, Attachment, and Adaptation
Much of our trauma originates in childhood, not necessarily from dramatic events, but from the absence of attuned, nurturing presence. Children are exquisitely sensitive and depend on caregivers for emotional regulation and validation. When these needs are unmet-due to stress, neglect, or even well-intentioned but distracted parenting-the child adapts by disconnecting from their feelings or authentic self to preserve attachment.
This is not a conscious choice, but a survival mechanism. The child learns to tune out, to please, to suppress anger or sadness, to become “what others want” in order to maintain connection. These adaptations, while protective in childhood, become the roots of adult suffering-showing up as anxiety, people-pleasing, addiction, or chronic illness.
Trauma in the Body: The Somatic Dimension
Trauma is not just psychological; it is deeply embodied. The body remembers what the mind forgets. Unprocessed trauma is stored as tension, pain, or illness. Chronic stress keeps the nervous system in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, making it difficult to relax, trust, or feel safe.
Healing requires reconnecting with the body-learning to notice sensations, listen to gut feelings, and allow emotions to move through us. The body becomes both the map and the guide for our healing journey.
Healing Trauma: The Path of Compassionate Inquiry
Healing from trauma is not about erasing the past, but about reclaiming connection-with ourselves, with others, and with life. The Compassionate Inquiry approach offers a roadmap for this journey, grounded in safety, presence, and curiosity.
Key principles of healing trauma:
- Creating Safety: Healing begins when we feel safe-emotionally, physically, relationally. Safety allows us to move out of defensive states and into openness and social engagement. In therapy, the therapist becomes the “relational container,” holding space for vulnerability and truth.
- Attunement: Being deeply seen, heard, and understood is the antidote to trauma. Attunement means being on the same wavelength, responding with empathy and presence. This is what was often missing in childhood, and what we can now give ourselves and each other..
- Inviting Openness: Healing happens when we are invited to be present with whatever arises-pain, anger, grief, joy. There is no need to fix, analyze, or rush. Openness allows repressed emotions to surface and be integrated.
- Compassionate Self-Inquiry: Gently exploring our triggers, beliefs, and body sensations helps us uncover the origins of our pain. We learn to distinguish between feelings and interpretations, to trace patterns back to their roots, and to meet ourselves with compassion rather than judgment.
- Reconnecting with Authenticity: The ultimate goal of healing is to reclaim our authentic self-the part of us that is spontaneous, creative, and alive. This means honoring our needs, setting boundaries, and living in alignment with our truth, even if it risks disappointing others.
What Everyone Should Know About Trauma
- Trauma is universal. Everyone has experienced some form of disconnection or adaptation. There is no hierarchy of suffering; your pain is valid.
- You are not broken. Trauma is not a life sentence. The true self is never lost or destroyed; it can always be recovered.
- Symptoms are signals, not flaws. Anxiety, addiction, and even physical illness are not signs of weakness, but intelligent adaptations to past pain.
- Healing is possible at any stage of life. No matter how long you have carried your wounds, it is never too late to heal.
- Compassion is the key. Only when compassion is present will we allow ourselves to see the truth and begin to heal.
Integrating Trauma’s Wisdom: A Holistic Approach
Holistic psychology recognizes that healing is not just about symptom relief, but about integration-bringing together mind, body, and spirit. Trauma asks us to slow down, to listen deeply, and to honor the wisdom of our pain. As we do, we find that our greatest wounds can become our greatest teachers, guiding us toward authenticity, connection, and wholeness.
If you recognize yourself in these words-if you are struggling with anxiety, addiction, chronic pain, or a sense of disconnection-I invite you to see your symptoms not as problems to be fixed, but as invitations to deeper self-understanding. Healing is not about becoming someone new, but about remembering who you truly are.
Begin Your Healing Journey
If you are ready to explore the wisdom your trauma carries, I am here to support you. I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you take the first step toward healing and wholeness. Book your session with me here.
Remember:
Healing is within everybody. You are not alone, and your true self is waiting to be rediscovered.
